Guardian Angel...

Guardian Angel...

This happened quite some time ago, but yet, it has left a very big impact on me. It feels like I saw those bright gleaming faces just yesterday! I’m an atheist... and by a thumb rule don’t believe in anything I can’t see. So guardian angels are not an exception. But that day, I was made to think otherwise.

It was just another long and draining day at college. Things look really grim at the end of such days; the heat just sucks out all the energy in you. All I wanted then was to troop back to my room and just die on my bed... well to be resurrected later for dinner that is...! But then I met up with Harsha and our very own VJ (aka rekha sometimes)... they informed me that in the evening, a visit to the orphanage opposite college was planned... Now that was an interesting turn of events that shook me out of my virtual slumber. I had never been to an orphanage before, nor had I pictured them. My parents had been to them a couple of times before, and every time, mum used to come back and get very emotional. So nothing actually pointed to a jovial picture all the while. Anyway, I was soon to find out.

Well there’s no point trying to avoid things that are right before you. I have been avoiding orphanages all this while, either by choice or indirectly... and yes, there’s always a first time for everything. So I did decided to accompany them, to see for myself, that which I had never beheld. It was time and we met up with a few other people, I was surprised to find Velu among them. Niki and Smitha had also come along. We passed through two big gates, at the second one we were greeted by a security guard, who was at a pretty ripe age for the job. As we enter, with a flurry of expectations running through my mind, a very energetic picture explodes into my eyes. We had entered the play area of the complex, and there were kids all over the place...! The orphanage is situated over and behind a juice shop called East-West, it’s the one place where all things that should not happen in college campus, happen… take smoking for beginners. Anyway, I have been to that place quite a few times, strictly for juice and kulfi sticks..! But never had I given a thought about the dwelling upstairs. I was amazed at how the choked traffic had muffled all the chirping voices from up here.

A few of us had been there for the first time. Harsha and Velu had been there like many times before. The moment the kids saw us, many of them rushed towards us, with broad smiles and lit faces…! I was taken aback by the nice welcome we received, for I had not expected any… It was a very special welcome I must say, for I had never felt that way before. I felt relieved that my first glimpses of an orphanage were one of energy and joy, and not otherwise, as I had dreaded.

The kids were really young, all aged between 5 and 8 probably. They looked like the little bubbles in a cola, very effervescent and always brimming with energy. They easily recognized the ones from out set whom they had seen before and flocked around them. A couple of kids came near me and hugged my legs… I felt like I was with my cousins….! The moment they touched me, something changed. I was no longer an outsider. I was in love with the kids. It’s no national secret that, as much as I categorically detest all that kids do, I just love them..! I just squatted on the ground to make myself more accessible to them; it was a wonderful feeling to interact with those children. Not only were they energetic, they were very smart too…! They just came up to us and started chattering away with their childish wit. Within no time there were just too many faces around us to concentrate on and respond to…! They could look at our watches and tell the time. And even keeping up with technology, they asked us to shine the lights in out watches…! One thing that really surprised me was when they started feeling our pant pockets for cell phones and then asked us to take their pictures with the cameras on it…! They were so amazed when VJ showed them their pictures on her phone, I was just plain laughing at her loss of control over the situation….hehe..! I wonder what these kids would have to say about the ban on usage of cell phones in our college..! We even poked fun at Smitha for not knowing kannada…! These children did get an education and had a special school attached to the centre.

Through all the awe, I did manage to speak with the kids, asked them stuff which I would consider silly, if I think about them now. They started reciting rhymes and songs for us. And then it was snacks time. Someone brought in a bag full of sweetened wafers for the children. The next thing you now, the children are all around us offering a share of their sweet goodies..! We just could not accept it… it was solely meant for them. I had to open a few of the wrappers for them because their little fingers were too supple for the tough plastic. Through all the amazement, realization finally settled in. The children also told an untold story, their very existence there had a grim story behind it. Beyond their broad smiles and sweet voices, their eyes had a different story to tell. You could clearly see the longing in them. There were signs every where, all the kids had the same hair cut, as short as possible, well for the practical cause of managing them easily. Their entire life had been built upon charity.

These children had for all the unfortunate reasons, become a burden. Their existence was shunned at one point. It’s their luck which had shown them the way to this place, there are scores of others who are not as fortunate. Those who don’t make it to safe houses as these live horrid lives, abused, uncared for, and left to fend for themselves. These children reminded me of the fragile saplings found on the forest floor… Born of giant trees, but not cared for. They are open to danger in so many forms and insecurity rules their existence. Only luck will see them soar and grace the canopy to kiss the skies…

These children need a guardian angel looking over their shoulders, for it is this angel, who will guide the saplings to sunshine… through all the rough times. I still say that I am an atheist… but I did see the guardian angels that day, the caretakers, who had dedicated their lives to running that sanctuary. They are the true spirits, not the lifeless pieces of idols that people blindly submit themselves unto. These angels are special, they don’t just appear in the scriptures, but rather exist among us, doing good deeds and really making a difference. I salute thou…

By now it was late in the evening, it was almost time for the kids to go indoors and commit themselves to the evening prayers. It was pretty cloudy then. The children started trooping back inside the main building, and it was time for us to bid adieu…One of the boys standing near me looked at the skies and said to me, “It looks like its going to rain, may be you should get back to your home quickly before you get wet…”, and then he disappeared into the dark hallway leading to the inside. Those words were ringing in my ears and I kept looking in his direction… He mentioned home, what an irony…. What an irony indeed…

Doodles to sketch...

A sudden sketchin fever had struck me a few days ago...
It shared the same zeal as when i blog...
So thought it would be a good idea to put it up here...
Its a very badly ascpected photograph of the actual thing... it looks better on paper trust me...

I hit upon the idea in class.. it took birth as a harmless doodle in the midst of a boring lecture...
But then some switch had flipped inside of me... it had been many years since i had actually sketched something with so much interest. Anyway, it took two days of effort to make it...

Nothing much to say about the picture, cause it is very abstract, the beholder's eyes will do all the explanation required...

Hope to make many more...

Broken Mirrors Can be Fixed

Broken Mirrors Can Be Fixed...

Everybody yearns for that little skip of a heart beat...that instantaneous sensation of breathlessness, that one real moment when you are swept off your feet...it's so sweet, you could put it as sweet pain if you like to! No, im not talking about someone scaring the crap out of you, but this sensation is a very special one. Is it by nature.. or is it just infatuation? I Wonder... I believe its one of the most influential emotion in every guys life...

You are dissolved in a mystic world of day dreaming, and then suddenly u see her in your mind's eye...For one frivolous moment life comes to a stand still. There you are, seemingly doing absolutely nothing, but then inside, you are drowning, drowning in her eyes...! Aah... life is good! And then after a few moments of rarefied suffocating joy, you step out of it all...back to where you are supposed to be. And then with a deep sigh, you move on. What is it about her that makes me dizzy...? The very thought of her puts a whirlwind into my heart...Will I every be able to discover...? Hmm... thats a tough one..! I suppose I would run short of words in this effort... But Im sure its not just me... The mind is such an unfair mechanism...! It gives you the sweetest of pleasures in such little instalments that you never stop yearning for more...it's an eternal quest...

Years have passed now... life has kept me busier than ever. It feels strange now that I had been through all this...but no, im not ashamed. Im glad I see more meaning to things now, more vibrance in all the images life has to offer, more sonata in all the voices that I hear. But I have nothing to hide, I still cherish that little skip of my heart which takes me to another world, even after everything that happened, those which shouldnt have.

Theres one thing that all life always seeks, and thats companionship. The quest for the perfect companion can even sometimes take a lifetime. What amazes me is the amount of learning we get to do in this quest. The past few weeks have been really traumatic for a few friends of mine.. whom i would not like to name. Its all about relationships. How they keep them, and how they lose them. It all just goes on to prove that even the sweetest of things life has to offer, has the most bitter seeds impregnated in them. Everything boils down to us, our efforts and how we handle situations. It is customary here for the older generation to warn us of our age. They iterate that we are vulnerable at this age, and that a life can be either made or destroyed very effortlessly. But then, it is also customary here for the more snazzy and hip younger generation to brush aside these seemingly ridiculous cautions, and to move on with our lives. Why cant we cash in on their wisdom..? What if they are right...? I guess its our age indeed, we are too stubborn to accept matters we are not comfortable with... Well I say it again, its a learning process.

What do we seek in a companion...? Its the basic few magical quantities... Compassion, Love, Friendship, and all the other mushy stuff you can think of. But then hold on... any living body is capable of sharing these magic potions, cause its hidden inside all of us. Its only a matter of effort in bringing out these qualities. But then hold on again... its not only about the effort, its about the zing, which sets your pulse racing, and your heart skipping..! Yes friends, its a very strange medley indeed...! But then, it happens to all of us, and has been happening so for almost an eternity. Where has all the wisdom been archived then...? If humans were to boast about their efficiency, then by now, all relationships would have been unbreakable...

Alas...! The phrase..." im only human" doesn't come without meaning. In fact its the problem and even the solution in itself...Our minds are the strongest as well as the weakest parts of our existence. And when a turmoil as this hits it, trippings do tend to happen. All things are going fine for a while and then misgivings begin to crop up...and before you know it, happy teenage companions are seen parting ways, with a heavy heart and days of remorse to follow... But why...? When they first fell in each others arms, did they just make a proposal for a few months of glory..? It would be very depressing if it were that way...Finding the right companion is one of the most important stepping stones of life, and short lived glory finds no place in this quest...

The way I see it, a relationship is a complex game of sacrifice and co-operation, the rules of which you will learn with experience. It takes two hands to make some noise, and there is no exception to this. Every aspect of a relationship is guided by the involvement of both the persons involved. To put it straight, I definitely dont endorse blame games. Because I know and I am sure that every person has a hidden strength and aura, its called will power. However bad be the reality at ground zero, our deliberation has to be strong enough to fish us out of the eye of the hurricane. This magic potion can work magic in innumerable ways, and history has no dearth of examples to help me present my case. Our fast paced lives have such a big impact all the facets we go through. It has even become possible for a dismayed scream of agony to be presented with a blank and emotionless face these days.

Where is the communication? Is it not possible to make someone understand your emotions or feelings...? Why dont people just try...? I strongly ridicule their impatience. A hasty approach in matters as these will only be greeted with barren and cold loneliness. Only perseverance and patience will take you to the gates of Eden. I also believe that teenage relationships are the ones that prepare you for the big one later in life. Some people are lucky enough to cherish their first heart throbs as their soul mates, but most are not. And I dont expect all of them to be perfect too. As I have mentioned before, its all the knowledge that you gain that matters. I only wish my friends dont sensitise issues that they share with their loved ones, cause it is just too early in life to put an end to things. Theres a lot more to be seen and learnt, which you may have never even thought of. Life is short my friends, I see absolutely no point in wasting your energy on bouts of remorse or depression.

I may not be the ultimate authority on guidance in matters such as these, buy my friends, I do understand, and I do want to help. Please take it easy... I may also not be qualified in saying all this, but I feel every broken mirror can be fixed. You should not allow an image of yourself to be shattered, its like letting yourself down. Kindly put the pieces together my friends, and I assure you, if you really are true to your companion, then the skip of your heartbeat, that you so rejoice, will pump a new and vibrant life into the image that you behold in it... I only wish for all my friends to cherish their heart throbs, until the last beat, and beyond...

Cheers!